Dual Career Principle 3: Consistent Inquiry Builds Synergy

Goals for an Equitable Dual Career Relationship

Gold scale evenly holding gender signs, sex equality

Dual Career Principle 2: Eliminate the Comparisons

Partners must refrain from comparing their spouse or relationship unfavorably to another spouse or relationship. It’s so easy to look at another dual-couple’s lifestyle and see all of the positives.  Many people go through life believing that the grass is always greener on the other side. Others paint a positive picture and communicate the ideals of their family lifestyle while hiding all of the negative baggage. Sarah, one of the women in the group, talked about what comparing her relationship to another relationship did to her and her husband’s marriage:

“I knew a couple who seemed to have everything figured out. They were both accomplished executives in very demanding jobs, involved in many charity events, and had the kind of marriage that one can only dream of. Whether they were together or apart, they always spoke of each with stars in their eyes and love in their voice. They owned a beautiful house– which was spotless all of the time — took several vacations a year, had two children in private school and still managed to have date night once a week. With all of the stuff in their lives they never, ever appeared frazzled. They seemed to have time for everything. I, on the other hand, could barely manage to get the children ready for school and give my husband a hug in the morning. I assumed that my husband was the cause and started blaming him for not trying harder.  I’d constantly compare him to my friend’s husband and blame him for our mediocre marriage.” 

To be successful as a dual-career couple, you must first understand that everyone struggles with the same issues that you will be faced with in the months and years to come.  Some people handle change and the stress that comes with two working adults better than others.  Nothing good will come out of the comparison.  The couples at our gathering have all experienced relationship envy in one form or another.  Instead of comparing your relationship or spouse to another’s, ask and learn from other couples and adopt only the things that work and fit into your lifestyle. A wise instructor once said, “When two people come together and both expect to get, then neither receives. When two people come together and both are ready to give, then both receive.”[1]

[1] Roth, Robert. Transcendental Meditation. Maharishi University of Management Press: Fairfield, Iowa. Chapter 4, http://www.tm.org/book/chap_4.html

Previous Posts:

Part 1: There is No Success Formula for a Dual Career Lifestyle

Part 2: Goals for an Equitable Dual Career Lifestyle

Part 3: Dual Career Principle 1: Family First

Please feel free to contact me at info@talentguard.com for more information. I also invite you to visit my website at www.talentguard.com.

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